When life gives you lemons, throw the lemons back and ask for applesauce!

"F**k the board...Ride the SkAtEr."

Jack and jill went up the hill
to smoke some marijuana
jack got high pulled down his fly
and asked jill do you wanna
jill said no and jack got mad
he forced her to and in walked jills dad

(my sis made that one)

Parents should keep their mouths closed and their wallets open :P

Stewie: SEXY PARTY!!!!!!! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

BE A SKATER
NOT A JOCK
GRAB YOUR BOARD
AND NOT YOUR C0CK!!!

Take off your pants socks and shoes,
Now show me what you can do,
Ok baby you ready for some fun?
What do you mean? Your already done?

Your momma's so slow when she goes to the store she has to buy green bananas so by the time she gets home they will be ripe and not rotten!

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

I just found out that my boyfriend cooks with a pooper scooper instead of a spatchula hmm...no wonder his food tasted like sh*t!