Instant idiot. Just add alcohol.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Ppl r always complaining that life is giving them lemons...well i say u r all ungreatful little knobhead bcuz sum ppl go without lemonade...

THERAPY IS EXPENSIVE
POPPING BUBBLE WRAP IS CHEAP
YOU DECIDE

MASTERBATION

my anti drug

If sex is a pain in the ass ur doing it wrong!

Muffin 1: AHHH WE'RE IN AN OVEN!!!!
Muffin 2: HOLY SH!T A TALKING MUFFIN!!!

Don't be sad
don't be blue
frankinstin is ugly too!!

LOL na i am messin

Just tell your penis you couldnt play with him tonite because you were out getting stoned he'll understand

Got a problem with me? Solve it! Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoes! Can't stand me? Sit down! Can't face me? Turn around!

IF AT FIRST U DONT SUCCEED, CHEAT REPEAT UNTILL CAUGHT AND THEN LIE!!!!