How Did Pinnochio Find Out He Was Made Of Wood?
His Hand Caught Fire

Why Do Golfers Have Two Pairs Of Pants?
In Case They Get A Hole In One
Why Was The Washing Machine Laughing?
It Wasd Takin The Piss Outta The Knickers

Ricky: Meg why u being sucha a b***h?!!!?

Meg: *looks around* do u see me barking??

haha u might not find it funny but u should of been there

You are always there when i wake up,
When i have my breakfast and dinner,
And sometimes we eat together and drink together,
i just hate it when i found u in my food,
Stupid cocroaches!!!!

Life aint like burger king,
you cant always have it your way ,
so get over it.

Friends are like potatoes... If you eat them they will die..

Holla for a dolla with your apple bottom pimp juice

He's climbin' in your windows. He's snatchin' your people up, tryin' to rape 'em. So ya'll need to hide ya kids, hide ya wife and hide ya husband 'cause they rapin' everybody out here.

People say shit happens.

I don't believe that.

Now, if someone blew up in the process, that would be different.

THAT would be shit happening.

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "

I would rather walk around with a rock taped to my forehead for a month than touch you again

~something that i actually said to a guy!!!