Excuse me sir could you shut your legs i dont like the smell of your breath

8 qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

Once i saw a .............................................................................................................
SHIKAN (CHICKEN REALLY BUT SOUNDS FUNNIER IF YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT)

If life hands u lemons.... stick them down your bra to make ur boobs bigger

FORD spelled backward (DORF)
Driver Returns On Foot

I wish my grass was emo so it could cut itself.

I love my mom
I hate my dad
now ain't that sad!!

Teachers think they know everything, but they don't know that their students hate homework

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, Weed, Birth Control

Life's a Glitch and then we all die
So Pluck the world and lets all get high

I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It
The Taste Of Her Cherry Chapstick
I Kissed A Girl Just To Try It
Hope My Boyfriend Don't Mind It