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My mom always said to eat my vegetables, but how come you never see them being advertised on T.V? |
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Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English. |
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"Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them" |
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He doesnt like me drunk and i dont like him sober |
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Wouldn't life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy, monday mornings were fun, if junk food had no calories, all kisses were magical, life was always worth living for, and love didn't hurt |
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I'M nOt SmiLiN At u ! |
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me...so throw me down and tie me up and show me that you like me |
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Whilst vacuming a parakeets cage one should first remove the parakeet or one shall be at loss of a pet. |
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Tell someone there are 5 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he just HAS to touch it...! |
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Guy: I have the penis there for I rule this relationship. |