I used to hate going to weddings. People came up to me poking me and saying your next, well, they stopped that crap when i started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

* I dunno exactly who wrote this but I LOVE it

Everybody has a photographic memory. just not everybody has film.

If idots could fly this would b a airport

The doctors say i have mulitple personalities...but we dont agree with that

Don't blame me.....the hormones did it.

You know you have problems when you fall out of your seat...and youre sitting on the floor.

Please tell your pants its not polite to point!

Raising a kid is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.

My favorite part of basketball is the pitching..

The only way to get over a man is to get under 2 men.

Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly's to the bone