Muffin 1: AHHH WE'RE IN AN OVEN!!!!
Muffin 2: HOLY SH!T A TALKING MUFFIN!!!

Live life to the fullest and never let your parents find out or your screwed

Jerk: why are you wearing a bra? not like you have anything to put in it
Girl: well you wear pants dont you?

- read it somewhere and loved it!

I tried sniffing coke, but Icecubes got stuck up my nose :(

If u cant beat em....... u betta find a bigger stick^^lol

...........I'm sorry, I was too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.

You know you have problems when you fall out of your seat...and youre sitting on the floor.

Please tell your pants, it's not polite to point.

Take my advice
i never use it anyway

This is one of my favorite quotes i just thought i'd share it with ya'll!

A bikini is like a barbed-wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view. – Joey Adams