"It's not that i can't cook..i'm just microwave compatible"

Jerk: why are you wearing a bra? not like you have anything to put in it
Girl: well you wear pants dont you?

- read it somewhere and loved it!

Leave me alone to think.If I'm not back in five minutes...I either got lost somewhere in my mind or died of too many thoughts at once.

Man: Hey baby, what\'s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

They always say 'nothings impossible'
but have they ever tried to dribble a football?

Does anyone ever notice how the crosswalk buttons never work? They should be called "nuttin buttons" cuz they don't do nuttin! lol
Life is indeed a paradox!

Mirrors cant talk and luckily for you they cant laugh either =p

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

this is an A B conversation so C your way out of it before D and E F you up G wasnt that funny?

I didn't LIKE HIM LIKE HIM...
I only held his hand b/c i wanted his crayons, he had the 64 pack...
WITH THE SHARPENER!