When life gives you lemons, throw them back in it's face and tell life to make it's own damn lemonade!!

"If missiles are surely meant to hit their targets, why aren't they called hittiles?"

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Guys are like puppies...
when you reject them its like stepping on their tail... you look at their sad little eyes and wanna pick up and hug um

Gimme that Prozac
Cause I don't want to go back
I just want some Depakote
Don't put me in a white coat
I'd be trapped like a little mouse
Inside of the Funny House
Never allowed to go outside
Cause of my silly thoughts of suicide

Tell Your Little Voices To Shut Up Cause I Can't Hear Mine!

I am a CELLFONE cause, you can TURN ME ON, TURN ME OFF, talk to me as LONG as you want and I WON'T charge you on WEEKENDS and after 7pm.

Beer-$15
Bag of Weed-$40
Condoms-$5.75
Finding Out She Swallows-...Priceless...

After a year of therapy my psychitrest said "well maybe life isn't for everyone"

I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying