The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

If I'm lying, wouldn't my pants be on fire?

When the very first man discovered that cows give milk, what was he doing?

In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits,
abuse, broccoli, o-zone holes, sexism, prejudice,
stupid guys, pms, and broken hearts:
why are you telling me to 'have a good day'?

I am aware I have no pants on, but thats no need to shout it out in public.

Theyre laughing at us because were idiots. were laughing at them because they just figured that out!

If I ever gave birth, I would stop in the middle of it and ask the doctore "Is it money back guarenteed?"

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

How come dogs say wolf but cats don't say lion?

Another wonder of the world. Something 2 really think about

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?