"I wasn't always an old perv, I used to be young." -my 46 yr old dad.

Feel safe at night. Sleep with a LiFEGUARD.

Dont follow in my footsteps....i run into walls .

Actual conversation:
Him: You are such a b***h!
Me: I take that as a compliment.
Him: Oh really
Me: Yea because I'd call you a d**k, but you don't got one!

Roses are red violets are blue.
but violets are purple so what's with the blue.

-my friend came up with this one too.

If at first you do not succeed; failure might just be your style?

I have skittles in my mouth, you wanna taste the rainbow?

Happiness is getting drunk after having a glass of water..
x

Popularity: Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how friggin cool you look saying it.

I should warn him. Or, maybe i'll just hide.. Oooh i like that plan.