"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

Dont judge a man by his B O X E R S
it's whats I N S I D E of them that counts!

Never knock on Death's door... ring the bell and run, he hates that.

-Anonymous

Guys are like tampons, once they get up in you, they'll never be the same!

"i refuse to accept responsibility for your interpretation of my actions, i will only sympathize with your lack of understanding... in other words ...im sorry your dumb....."

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

Life is short and so am I

When the love of you life breaks up with you and says "we can still be friends"
its like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it.

If time is a waste of life, and life is a waste of time, then let's get wasted and have the time of our lives!

Oh, say that again. Slower. And with your pants off.