"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."

PMS::potential murder suspect

It takes some skillz to trip over flat surfaces

Person 1--"can i ask you a question?"
Person 2-- "didn't really give me a choice there, now did ya sunshine?"

As I lye in bed and look up at the night skie.I begin to think, where the hecks my roof?

People see it as the glass half full
or the glass half empty
im just wondering who the hell keeps drinking my beer

When life hands you a lemon, serve it up with a shot of tequila.

I'm a genie in a bottle....your a tramp in a lamp...

"i refuse to accept responsibility for your interpretation of my actions, i will only sympathize with your lack of understanding... in other words ...im sorry your dumb....."

When a girl says "im cold"...dont be an IDIOT and say "me too"