"I am Sweet as heaven, I am hot As Hell, I am the Finest Girl as You can Tell, I am not A Lie, I am not An illusion, I’m An Angel... so What’s The confusion"

Why is it that I really wanna punch you in the head and then afterwards say "I'm Sorry!"

A little girl digging a hole in her garden..
Neighbour looks over and says.. why are u digging a hole
she says my hamster died..
and neighbour says thats a big hole for a hamster??
and she says thats because your FCUKin cat ate it..!!

hahahahahah

"9 out of 10 Americans believe that out of the 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9"

-Said by Colin Mochrie during a game of Weird Newscasters.

What's the difference between a drunk and a pothead?
A drunk drives through a stop sign.
A pothead waits for it to turn green.

Help others when there life is full of rain, but still find time to dance in it.

"Has the thought of firing a flare at a gas station ever crossed your mind?"

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey!!=P

The only thing keeping me from a diet .. is FOOD

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