Why was Cinderella kicked out of Disney Land?

Cuz she was caught sitting on Pinochio's lap screaming lie Pinochio, lie!!

My friend sent this to me, and i thought it was hilarioius!!

Q::If your going upstream in a canoe, and one of the wheels falls off, how many pancakes will fit in a dog house?

A::Purple! Because Waffles don't make good roof shingles

"I know when i die I wont be missed
but you will realize what you missed."

When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.

"i'm sure you've thought about me naked"

I CAN MAKE A BANANA CREAM BUT I CANT MAKE A CHERRY POP

A good friend will come bail you out of jail...but a best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "damn! we f**ked up!!!!!"

Wen u are blue a true friend would help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad

Jet black hoodie...37$
Two 50 cent CD's....20$
A bling-blingin chain...45$
The new Air Jordans....70$
Really saggy jeans....23$
A Colt47 pistol......30$
Three body piercing..82$
Realizing your white...PRICELESS

Fat People Need Loving
Too, And That Would
Be Where You Come In!