Ive got PMS and a gun.......
now what was it you wanted to say?

Love sucks, true love swallows.. lol

A FRIEND shares their umbrella with you in the rain, a BEST FRIEND grabs the umbrella and says.."Run Bit-ch Run!"

Fat kids are harder to kidnap

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is!

People Like You Are The Reason We Have Middle Fingers

Never have serous conversations in the bathroom, b/c you never know who is in the other stalls.

He Said...
Why Do You Wear A Bra When You've Got Nothing To Put In It!?

She Said...
You Wear Pants Don't You???

I don't think my mum gets it when she calls me "son-of-a-b!t*h"

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, & beer