Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book
Guy: But I don't know your name
Girl: That's in the phone book too

Whoever said nothing is impossible has obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive-

Until I realized, suicide is a crime.

I believe in karma, that is why I could do all sorts of bad deeds and believe that they deserve it.

Somebody needs a happy meal

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn't met me yet

I do it cuz i can, i can cuz i want to, i want to cuz u told me not to!!

Jerk: I dont know why you wear a bra you have nothing to put in it!
Girl: You wear pants dont you???

Boy (with a cheesy pickup line): can i call you carrot?... cuz your good for my eyes.

Girl (much more clever then the boy): only if i can call you toilet paper... cuz your an ass-wipe

Alcohol Ain't The Answer...
But It Makes You Forget The Question
;]

~FountainsOfBlood