Fathers always told his son to have principles,like
"A man must fight for what he believe in!"
But Fathers always lost to mums!
What was the principle again?!

"Don't call me scandelous, you just mad cuz you can't handle this"

The more i get to know men the more i like dogs

Student: How long do you want the essay
Tearcher: Make it like a miniskirt, short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the subject.
(True story my british lit. teacher actually told me this!)

Guy:You were bein mean
Girl: I kept it PG-13
Guy: Yeah but it was close enough to be interesting!

"beats me i planted raddishes"

Save Santa the trip... be naughty!

Rap is to music what paint-by-numbers is to art

My four fav animals,
1) jaguar in the garage,
2) mink in the closet,
3) tiger in the bedroom and
4) a jackass to pay for it all... :)

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know."