Children in the dark causes accidents,
accidents in the dark causes children.

Save Santa the trip... be naughty!

Student: How long do you want the essay
Tearcher: Make it like a miniskirt, short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the subject.
(True story my british lit. teacher actually told me this!)

Men are like a deck of cards:
You need a heart to love them
A dimond to marry them
Aclub to bash thier heads in
And a spade to barry the body

I wish I was a teddy bear sitting on your bed, so everytime you dreamnt of someone else, I could kick you in the head.

When scientists discover the center
of the universe, don't be surprised
when it isn't you

****roses are red..voilets are stupid
i have a sore bum thankz a lot cupid***

You know "that look" women get when they want sex?

Me neither.
--Steve Martin

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

If he hurts you..
hurt him
if he loves you..
love him
if you want him..
steal him