"It's free so we might as well get our money's worth!"
(lol I said this at the nail salon a few weeks ago)

I just got a call from my boss. He said "your sick days are all used up..." so im calling in dead

Where Else Can You Have This Much Fun
With Your Clothes On

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.... They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

- President Bush, presidential address

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Got that from my friend Stephen

Why are freeways really expensive to build and highways really close to the ground?

again, from my friend Stephen

I rather be
smok'in hot
then hang with you
and be
smok'in pot

REDNECK WORDS

person1: jeet yet
person2: no jew
person1: u ount to

jeet: didja eat
jew: did u
ount: want

When dogs come up n the yard my dad goes out on the front porch and yells:

enonouere

enonouere: get on outta here

If I Had A Brain
I Would Be Dangerous

I Must Be A Mushroom
Everyone Keeps Me In The Dark
And Keeps Feeding Me Bullshit.