J.e.s.u.s SaVes....When [he] shops at waL*maRT

Why is it that people with bad breath always have so much to say?

-Nick Cannon (when he was younger)

Have you ever realized that if you put THE and IRS together it spells THEIRS?? coinicedence......i think not!

REDNECK WORDS

person1: jeet yet
person2: no jew
person1: u ount to

jeet: didja eat
jew: did u
ount: want

When dogs come up n the yard my dad goes out on the front porch and yells:

enonouere

enonouere: get on outta here

If I Had A Brain
I Would Be Dangerous

I Must Be A Mushroom
Everyone Keeps Me In The Dark
And Keeps Feeding Me Bullshit.

If Looks Could Kill
You would Of Been Dead A long Time Ago

Where Else Can You Have This Much Fun
With Your Clothes On

I just got a call from my boss. He said "your sick days are all used up..." so im calling in dead

"It's free so we might as well get our money's worth!"
(lol I said this at the nail salon a few weeks ago)