You all laugh at me because Im strange.
I laugh at you all because you're so normal

Stupid people do have feelings they're just too dumb to know it

I Must Be A Mushroom
Everyone Keeps Me In The Dark
And Keeps Feeding Me Bullshit.

If Looks Could Kill
You would Of Been Dead A long Time Ago

Where Else Can You Have This Much Fun
With Your Clothes On

I just got a call from my boss. He said "your sick days are all used up..." so im calling in dead

"It's free so we might as well get our money's worth!"
(lol I said this at the nail salon a few weeks ago)

"I was not interested in religion intil I saw a car with a jesus & god bumper sticker!!!
That totally convinced me that I should belive in religion, Thank you bumper stickers!!"

Have you ever realized that if you put THE and IRS together it spells THEIRS?? coinicedence......i think not!

Why is it that people with bad breath always have so much to say?

-Nick Cannon (when he was younger)