Dont drink and drive somke and fly

Wise people talk because they have something to say, Foolish people talk because they have to say something.

Some people call them marbles,
And some call them screws,
It really dont matter,
Cuz were all missing a few.

Why is it people are more scared to see two guys holding hands, than to see two guys holding guns?

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Most dudettes think dudes with muscles are hot. My theory to that is...bull! Any dude can work out but it takes a special dude to try and get off the couch!

You may be 333 (half evil)
Or you could be 666 (evil)
But i'm 121212 (I make saten piss himself)

I'm a palm reader. *gasp* you're gonna die, but don't worry, you'll live through it.

Whoever said nothing was impossible abviously never tried slamming a revolving door!

I used to be a schizophrenic but were alright now