"cock fighting"
are there any more people out there who find this expression highly amusing?

Money is what makes the world go 'round.

Blones are pretty
red heads are smart
but it takes a brunette
to steal your heart

The Only Reason I Was Talking Behind Your Back Was Because You Wasn't There

Sunglasses are what to protect your head from the CIA!!!

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

Society is teeming with moronic bastards that are just waiting to swallow the minnows of a lower class whole...

-Me

"It's free so we might as well get our money's worth!"
(lol I said this at the nail salon a few weeks ago)

I just got a call from my boss. He said "your sick days are all used up..." so im calling in dead

Where Else Can You Have This Much Fun
With Your Clothes On