If I told you that I know nothing, then I MUST certainly know something... since I know that I don't know anything. Right?

My father always said that there is no such thing as spontaneous combustion, you must set yourself on fire. I also found that other people are generally upset when I set them on fire.

If barbies so popular, why do u have to buy her friends?

I got drunk at a klingon party.
-David

DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!

Sometimes I think I'm the only sane people left in the world.

Politicians are the best retailers .

Love is like a big dog,
you just gotta put a chain on it!

NASA spend over a million dollars on a pen that works in outer space while Russia just takes paper and pencil
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this is a true story

What's the point of wearing pants if your not going to use them?