You may be 333 (half evil)
Or you could be 666 (evil)
But i'm 121212 (I make saten piss himself)

If handicapped bathrooms are for people who can't walk,
then why do they put them at the end of the bathroom?

No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again.[...] I feel like the maid "I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes"

-The Incredibles

Awkward situation #1: You burst out laughing at an inside joke that was formed days earlier, then feel obligated to explain it to those around you. Nobody laughs.

Take free online classes to help you kick your Internet addiction problem.

Some people call them marbles,
And some call them screws,
It really dont matter,
Cuz were all missing a few.

I'm a palm reader. *gasp* you're gonna die, but don't worry, you'll live through it.

DON'T HIT KIDS!!! no really they have guns now

Only dumb and idiotic people like me can make a smart and boring person like you laugh

You're such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship with only one life jacket, I'd miss you lots and think of you often.