Trying to convince a woman that she's wrong is like trying to convince her that Titanic and the Notebook were not sad movies.

"It's free so we might as well get our money's worth!"
(lol I said this at the nail salon a few weeks ago)

If life is so hard like peole say we should all wear helments

The monkey dances while the organ grinder plays his organ. Dance monkey, dance!

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people seem clever...until they talk.

You is like a golf course everybody gets a hole in one

Of course I drove off. He was probably dead, anyway.

He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

"Most people just call people emo because they're jealous that they look better in black"