Sometimes you may feel like a big rock at the bottom of a lake. No one knows where you came from... but then again no one really cares because you are just some big stupid rock at the bottom of a lake.

The government knows who took the cookie from the cookie jar, but they lied to the public about who really took the cookie. The public knows they are lying, but they don't really know who took it, so they claim Bush took the cookie from the cookie jar.

There are three types of people on earth.....those who can count and those who cant.

Never trust what a man says when he's in love, drunk, or running for office.

I'm not racist, I just hate everyone equally :)

I saw this really fat man on TV one day. I made a rude comment and my friend told me beauty was only skin deep. Well, it would be a long search for that guy.

I'm not a transvestite, just a guy who's not afraid to wear make-up.

Intelligence is defined by the stupidity of others.

It's not that i am a b itch, i just don't like you!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it.

-W. C. Fields