A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

I think people first got AIDS from eating monkeys...atleast I hope they were eating them.
-Erin

If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't, throw it at a moron.

//Ari\\

Inanimate object namers stick together.

You don't know me, than don't judge me. I never said you had to f**kin love me!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it.

-W. C. Fields

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

BE optimistic
:)
Everyone you hate will all eventually die

Alcohol...because fat people need to get laid to

Y do they put braille on the keypad of a drive up ATM??