When i do pushups, im not lifting myself, im pushing the earth down..

Without these blonde moments,
life would be so dull

There is a copple of reasons why I go to Walmart
#1) to throw random things into nieghboring isles. #2) to run up to randome people and say I havent seen you in a long time. and see if they play along to avoid embarecment.

Love is like Heaven but hurts like Hell!!

They've found something that can do the work of 10 men.....

a woman

My father always said that there is no such thing as spontaneous combustion, you must set yourself on fire. I also found that other people are generally upset when I set them on fire.

Sometimes I think I'm the only sane people left in the world.

~*~It's not illegal until you get caught!!!!~*~

Guys are always looking for a girl with a coke bottle figure, too bad most women have more of the coke can figure LOL

Why are freeways really expensive to build and highways really close to the ground?

again, from my friend Stephen