Well, its been said a million times, and a million times it was right, this is a very cute, no not even cute, just adorable poem. It made me smile, and i dont do that very much out here. Nicly penned and beautiful. I loved it.
10 years ago
Sorry my critique isn't exactly insightful or the like.
Its just a flat out cute and simple little piece overall. Also, it seems to me like it'd make a good chorus in a song, or perhaps a refrain in a bigger piece of some sort. It just has a very sing-song quality to it, with a strong rhyme sequence (Idk, rhyme scheme doesn't seem like the correct words here), that just gives it a musical vibe.
Concise, but I believe if lengthened it would lose it's power. I thought the rhyme and flow were absolutely spot on and flawless, as was the wording you've used. Simple, yet elegant at the same time, and perfect for describing this person's smile, which does remind me of my own certain someone's smile. Beautiful piece, I enjoyed it. :)
This is really beautiful. A great smile brings so much pleasure. It's like looking at a unknown person in the eyes and he smile with you and up you caught that flue and willing to comtaminates as mush as you can. A great smile has the power to light up one's heart. Short poem yet filled with meaning. Love your write, kel.