Mutual Death

Wow this is an older poem from you but this poem is very well written. I'd argue one of your better written poems on here. But-

The title speaks of such sorrow, The first and obvious thing I think of here is two people who have "agreed" to die. There are many possibilities here. Like two siblings or family members. Friends or even lovers at one point. But I truly love this title because of the feelings it holds, and going into the poem as the reader, I expect to feel sadness.

Stanza one- This stanza spoke to me so well, because I know exactly how this feels. Because I am the person who is lying on the floor, wallowing in my own misery. This person seems to be the person you keep living for, the savior of your thoughts as you say, but in that they cannot save themselves. It reminds me of a person who tries to make everyone else happy but when it comes to the end of the day, they fall into their own depression and no one knows how much they hurt. I do love the imagery of a dying butterfly. Because you see this person as beautiful, but with broken wings.

stanza two- Oh, This stanza hits the reader right in the heart, and This also oozes sadness. First of all, The main character, (whom seems to be you) has their own struggles with depression, and seems to hide it well. No one really knows why this person wants to die or why either person wants to die. but I like it this way, because there is a hidden meaning to me. The way this is written, it is hiding a lot and when someone is depressed they try to hide their depressed feelings from people, I thought that was a nice touch to the poem itself.

Ending- Until The ending when all is revealed! I thought the ending could have gone either way, by hiding or revealing with why you want to die. When people think of love, they always think of the happier and blissful times, but here you express the darker side of not feeling it at all. I connect to this so well. It seems like with all that is said, you two were one. Which I love because it connects with the title and the mutual death. This is a really well written poem and story. :)

Every week i read this poem ... gives me some sort of satisfaction ......

this is the most adorable poem i have ever read....

Nema,

First of all I'd like to say congrats on the win. this was definitly well deserved and I just want to let you know that I absolutely adored this poem written by you. It's amongst my favorites. Free verse is amazing and when you pull it off it creates the best feeling ever don't you think? Honestly, I thought I commented on this piece for you but it looks like I never got around to it. I've been overly busy later but atleast i'm here now.

This piece was written elegantly, so simple and yet to me it held so many different thoughts and deeper meaning. To tell you the truth I adored the structure of this poem, I feel as though you paused in all the right places in order to create an amazing flow while allowing the reader to intake huge chunks of the emotions you portray.

"You die because you have never been
loved
I die because I
Never could;"

I fell in love with those lines above. You know, alot of people who actually know me that read poetry on this site, for example, Nevena and Auzy, know that I struggle to build emotion within myself while reading a poem, infact i'm not good with emotion at all, so when someone actually touches my heart, it's quite a rare thing. The lines above touched my heart, deeply. I feel as though I can relate to it, maybe that's why. But you created so much lovely emotion within my heart and I want to thank you for that. It was wonderful.

Overal this is such a simply amazing poem.
-Mel

You won the contest! Mashallah, Mabrook sweety, you deserve it...but a mere weekly contest means nothing to this write. It is intense, incredible, and extremely beautiful like you. I can't even describe how it touched me hun. Great write!

Hey Nemo...sorry for being so late in commenting though i read it days back. Its a great poem and very unique indeed. Loved the pattern and you really used it to your strength, very nicely written indeed.
Congrats on hitting the top spot...much deserved one.

all the best and take care