Solitary Trance

by Lonely Rider   Feb 16, 2011


Lemonade sunbeams
dance to melody
of life,

But still,
in your absence,
the wild blossoms
mock my sepia colored
solitary trance.

Zephyr tease with
each cold wisp
of unfamiliar touch,
emotions surge
in passion filled
waltz,

And I,
'neath the shadow
of tingling hope,
wait for time to halt
in moment when
our fingers would
entwined,

splashing back colors
to our lovelorn
time frame.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I see you have mastered many styles

  • 13 years ago

    by Cindy

    Raj
    A very beautiful piece.
    Love Cindy

  • 13 years ago

    by The Queen

    And I,
    �neath the shadow
    ^ just a little bit of editing :)

    Honestly, this poem shows a lot of creativity. From the title, mood and to its diction and word usage are very appropriate to describe the theme of this piece. However, one thing that is apparently unfinished is its profundity, it seems unjustified by the details of the poem. I think the poem was ended abruptly.

    Setting aside the criticism, I believe this piece has the perfect rhythm, now on one hand that's cool, because it really is an elegant piece. :)

  • 13 years ago

    by The Queen

    And I,
    �neath the shadow
    ^ just a little bit of editing :)

    Honestly, this poem shows a lot of creativity. From the title, mood and to its diction and word usage are very appropriate to describe the theme of this piece. However, one thing that is apparently unfinished is its profundity, it seems unjustified by the details of the poem. I think the poem was ended abruptly.

    Setting aside the criticism, I believe this piece has the perfect rhythm, now on one hand that's cool, because it really is an elegant piece. :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    A really sad piece that pours out the writers emotions and portrays them in such a beautiful yet sad way. I love the way you got your message across in this story and I found it easy to relate to as many other people can probably do. The poem itself was really good and it had a good flow. The imagery that you used was also good as it enabled me to envision what was going on as I read.

    All in all, you have a very beautiful and well crafted poem. Your message is really good and it gets across in your poem giving the reader a sense of sadness when they are alone. Great job and keep writing.

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