He Loves Me (TW)

by Steph   Jan 13, 2020

He respects my cold silence.
Understands when I start to triple check
Every. Lock. In the house.
When I start drinking to fall asleep.
When I turn off the show or movie
When a scene gets too triggering.

I've ran out of theaters.
Cried countless times during sex.
Explained the scars.
Showed his photo.
Told the story.
The joke of a sentence.
The fear of orange Dodge Ram's.

Explained every loss
Thanks to what this man did to me.
Continue to hurt
And he holds me.
And he comforts me.
And he tries to understand.
He wipes the tears.
He kisses my head.
He's there at whatever distance I need him.

He loves me
And loves me
And loves me.
He loves away the hurt,
The trauma.
The flashbacks.

He doesn't know what I hold back.
He doesn't know I still have flashbacks
When we're making love.

He doesn't know when
I can't stop remembering.

He doesn't know how frequently
I check the offender registry.
How painful the name Richard is.

How much I hurt when he's sleeping
Next to my crying body.

He tells me I'm so strong.
He tells me he'd kill him.
He tells me I'm amazing.
He tells me he loves me
And promises to stand by me
Despite where my brokenness leads.

He loves so hard.
He fights with me.
And he doesn't even know
How he keeps me afloat.

I love him
And I love him.
And we love
Through every day.


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Steph, I've missed your poetry! What made this super emotional as a reader is that first, you chose to share this with us. And two, the last line, of loving through every day. I am so glad you have him, though he may not know every thing you are reminded of as mentioned, having someone who tries to understand and be whatever you need (be it distance or someone to simply listen to), that is something beyond precious.

    There is an endless amount of pain in your words, in your voice, but there is also hope. I wish the best for you and am seriously overjoyed to see a new piece from you <3

    • 4 years ago

      by Steph

      Thank you for your kind feedback!

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