False Alarms

by Star   Jan 18, 2020


Forecasts were raining over me,
but I was already wet
with my own thoughts.

I was crouching on the sidewalk,
though I wasn’t intimidated.

Pedestrians were passing by me,
stealing glances from under
their umbrellas.

But the plot
did not match the weather.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    I'll deviate from the rest of the comments to say that I enjoyed the ending; I'm not sure if it was intentional but since it was so abrupt, it didn't match the poem much like how "the plot/did not match the weather". Poetic & ironic. :)

    That being said I enjoyed this and I really love the second last stanza, it paints an interesting image.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Oops! When I read the title, haha I thought you were referring to my false alarm poem. Phew! Glad it wasn’t.

    As I was reading, I felt like I wanted more and then the ending felt rushed.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      LOL!!!!
      I get what you mean thank you :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done, Star. Fully deserved.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you Ben :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Koan

    Yeah I agree with the others...
    Your closing needs a little tweak..
    I love the read..

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you!

  • 4 years ago

    by Aegis

    This had my full attention from the start, especially that second stanza. And I agree with what David said. The ending just didn't quite work for me and left me a little confused. Very good effort though<3

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you Aegis!!

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