the blue pigment is slithering
under your skin, or is it your blood
fighting for closure? it doesn't matter
when all the voices become louder
past midnight, and the only thing
you rely on is the light you see
when you close your eyes. but
tonight you run and you cant feel
your feet, your heart pounding
in your palm and with the other one
you try to respirate yourself. the
adrenaline creeping through your
veins, while in your mind you keep
begging yourself to wake up;
My favorite line that I keep reading over is the question of "or is it your blood fighting for closure?" then the almost exhausting question in the final line, "but where to?" I felt immediate panic when reading this. It's interesting because I was just having a discussion yesterday with someone close to me about what closure means to them, and asking what they need. Closure can be something so intimate to someone, and achieving that, or realizing that closure may be ongoing, is important. It adds a whole layer of depth with thinking about closure WITH one's own self. The voices that we can't quiet or soften or escape from... the suffocating feeling of our reality, mixed with the uncertainty of where we go when we dream. If we will never find peace. I also saw this as possibly describing sleep paralysis, being conscious yet not being able to move, experiencing auditory or visual hallucinations, and still trying to wriggle out of this "nightmare". Trying to wake up and scream and nothing coming out, feeling like something is holding you down and keeping you from reaching a place/point without fear. Congratulations on the win!
What does closure mean? Thats an interesting question! There’s a lot that went through me while writing this, it didnt turn out as I wanted. But after reading hiraeths and your comment I think I did deliver more thanI expected!
Thank you sooo much for the comment MA!
To me, the blue pigment represents day, and it slithering under your skin/fighting with blood, makes me think of insomnia. Relying on the 'light' that appears when you close your eyes, made me think of dreams/day-dreaming as you try to navigate through this bout of insomnia, and wanting to wake up to a specific 'dream/day-dream', and I really, really love the imagery in this piece. 'heart pounding in your palm', 'you rely on the light you see/when you close your eyes', 'is it your blood fighting for closure'. I love it! Glad to see this nominated!