Morning Hush (Haiku)

by Hellon   Feb 21, 2014


Wings of gossamer
caress blushing rose petals:
butterfly kisses.

@Hellon 21st February 2014

4


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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Kiko

    Hellon,

    This doesn't work for me on so many levels.
    "Gossamer wings" is a cliche. "blushing" is a personification, which is not supposed to be used in haiku. "Butterfly kisses" is another over-used cliche. And it is also a personification, since the butterflies are not kissing anything.

    There's nothing original or haiku-like in this.

    Sorry to be so negative,

    Remember, in a haiku you are simply describing a scene - without gussying it up with a lot of poetic devices.

    Eric

    • 4 months ago

      by mossgirl19

      I think it's not so dressed up and the scene was clear at first reading. Haikus have evolved. Cliches maybe but as it had painted the scene well it suits me. :-) I do think this is lovely.

  • 3 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    So cute and lovely
    Butterfly kisses is nice

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This is beautiful Hellon, very pretty haiku!!

  • 3 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    Such a delicate piece, like that of this butterflies wings. Sometimes, we focus too much on the hustle and bustle of daily life that we forget the to take in the beauty of it. No wonder childhood is so magical..beautiful work.

  • 3 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Very beautiful haiku.

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