If you're going to ride my @$$ at least pull my hair...

It's my old bumber sticker

"You looked good yesterday. Today I'm sober..."

~Kyra Campbell

If some one doesn't appriciate what you do when you try your best give them the fingre and say hey i gave it all i had, may not be the best but i did what i could and thats all i need

Life is like a toilet roll:
1. It always goes faster at the end
2. Sometimes you think you can get along without it
3. And yeah, SHIT HAPPENS!

When life hands you lemons, make margaritas to get life snockered, cut out one of its kidneys, & sell it on the black market for cash to buy yourself some peaches instead.

When life hands you lemons, catch them on fire and throw them back.

It is tragic that my last name means "lacking."
and tragedy can put on its black eyeliner and beat off in the corner.

- Boofpixie, on tragedy.

Sometimes I like to sit and watch life go by. Then sometimes I like to stick my foot out and trip it up a little.

To make you not laugh

we will have to lose all emotion
and become like
a banker
or a librarian

Man 1: I think you should quit drinking.

man 2: It's the beer that's addicted to me.Oh no! It's back! NO Stop! HELP!!!!