"when life hands you lemons, throw them at people."

Being cheesy really does take some creativity.

If you're not laughing, they're laughing at you.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much...

If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, that usually means there's more shit over there to fertalize it.

I had an imaginary friend when i was little, but he'd always go play with the boy down the street.
Me:Well, I guess I'll see you later then...
Him:Ya, whatever, queer.
Me:Why does everyone keep saying that?!?

~Comedy Central

I'm real easy to live with once you lesser people learn to worship me.

If we are decnded from apes and monkeys...... why are there still apes and monkeys?

Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in tyring to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?

Two wrongs dont make a right,
but three rights make a left.

[think about it... its true...]