You were so beautiful, until your 30 day trial of Photoshop ended.

; Wouldn't it be nice if your iPod could detect your mood, and make a playlist for it? (:

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

One of the branches of knowledge is an ugly stick that unfortunately hit so many of us on the way down.

I don't care how old, or how badass you think you are, when a toddler hands you a play phone, you're going to answer it

Dear Friday,

I think you've met you match. Be scared.

Love,
Me

Me: Hey, God, what's a million years to you?
God: A minute.
Me: what's a million dollars to you?
God: A penny.
Me: Can I have a penny?
God: In a minute.

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." lol.

Yup. Nothing wastes time like facebook.

If my life were a pickle, I would ask it: "Why are you so bumpy??" xPP