Same sh!t differnt day!!

Kid- Oh My God!!!
Parent- God has nothing to do with this!!

I thought that was funny....my dad always says that to me

-I want a new deck
-yea well ppl in hell want cold water too

another thing my dad says to me!

Dancing makes for a good time. Dancing like you're in an iPod commercial makes for a better time.-Kelsey

Big Mac--5 dollars

Deep fried cheesecake--3 dollars

Large poutine with extra gravy--10 dollars

Dying of a freak breakout of the bubonic plague--priceless

For everything else, there's lyposuction

All the good things in life are either
ILLEGAL. IMMORAL. or FATTENING.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door!

Bumper stickers

The kids drive me crazy. I drive em everywhere.

Even though this is a stupid bumper sticker, ur squintin to read it.

They couldnt repair my brakes, so they made my horn louder!

I was surprised that the day did not fall into its own dismay..
I was surprised with the words she tried to say...
as i faced the sun..she saw no shadow