ACTUAL HEADLiNE;;

TYPHOON RiPS THROUGH CEMETERY;; HUNDREDS DEAD

(FUNNY)

-SHELBY :)

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Half of the world is made up of idiots, and the other half comprised of those smart enough to take advantage of them.

Why is it when someone tells you there are a million stars in the sky, you believe them, yet when someone says that "the paint is wet" you must touch it just to make sure?

~Lauren LeClair

I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness" but it doesn't work.

Head to my neck
Fingers to my hand
And death to the b***h
That touches my man

I don't believe in luck but if i did i'd be very unlucky

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

-Mark Twain

People like you are the reason we have a middle finger.

SMILE...IT CONFUSES PEOPLE!