Two guys were walking down the street when they saw a dog on the sidwalk licking himself, one guy turns to the other n says "i wish i could do that" and the other man says "well u cuud try but i bet hed bite ya"

*true story*

"shes like a tube of lipstick sweating gin.."

There is only one thing wrong with those cookies, they're all gone.

Im not a retard...
im just a very special girl...

I MAY NOT BE MISTER RIGHT BUT I'LL F**K YOU TILL HE GETS HERE.

*Written by my best guy friend in the whole world.... IZZY PEED*

Winning is not important
your efforts is what counts in the last

You see they named her betty.
all they did with her was play.
they'd use their fingers to mess with her
and leave her the next day.
lucky for her
she was a made for all that,
she's a rubix cube,
colored & flat.
(true story. :)

When life ends i want you to be there by my side forever
my heart will always be yours baby

Dont drink water fish have sex in it

If it's a goodbye,,
Then tell me,,
Coz i dont want to get it wrong when i think,, it's just another one of your little white lies,,
</3