Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor daughter a dress. But when she got there, the cupboard was bare..and so was her daughter i guess.

(she was later arrested for indecent exposure)

Mary had a little lamb...The doctor had a heart attack.

Live fast.
Die young,
And leave a good looking corpse!

Everyone poops...it just depends on what you eat if it smells.

Hurry i'm hungry. It's a burger not a mosaic pyramid.

Remember my name. You'll be screaming it later,

A little girl digging a hole in her garden..
Neighbour looks over and says.. why are u digging a hole
she says my hamster died..
and neighbour says thats a big hole for a hamster??
and she says thats because your FCUKin cat ate it..!!

hahahahahah

If love were a man i couldve killed him from a long time ago

Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Cuz Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper....

ILL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD.... IS WHAT HE SAID... SO I SAID... WHAT YOU TALKIN ABOUT PUTO YOU JUST TOOK A NAP.. HE SAID.. NO I JUST CLOSED MY EYES... I SAID... YOU LIE!! YOU WERE SNORING!!! LOL
(INSIDE JOKE)