"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot"

You have one advantage over me..... you can kiss my ass and i cant

You cant light fireworks in the basement and expect not to get caught!!

Cereal is a vital stable food for all college students. Who cares how ridiculous you look eating it at 7:30 P.M.???

A bit stupid

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Its better to give a rick out of love,
then to give a diamond out of duty

When driving through a gate, always, ALWAYS make sure the gate is OPEN... the consequences may be fatal to your car

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

I know why superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids.

If your name was homework
I'd be doin you on my desk right now