Did anyone hear about that one chick who set her cell phone on vibrate and used it as a d*ldo? Now that's just plain sad.

In case of fire read this message ..................................... I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU ....... ~~~!!

Why do they say sex after marriage is ok but before it, its not?
Say,
If you murder someone, before marriage its wrong, BUT If you murder after marriage its still wrong! What are they teaching us?!

Think of me as the Barbie you'll never get to play with.

I'm a nobody,
Nobody's perfect,
....Therefore I'm perfect!

(I heard this and I loved it)

WHY DO MEXICANS ONLY TIE ONE SHOE? BECAUSE ON DA BOTTOM OF DA SHOE IT READS “ TAIWAN ”.
JJAJA LOL

Thinks that if you wanna keep your legs open 24/7 you should put a sign on your forehead saying' easy come easy go...

It isn't a party without Shane Harty

Forget PRINCESS

I Wanna Be A

VAMPIRE or a

WAREWOLF

Yesterday is history, yet tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, thats why they call it present