I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person that screws up your entire day, and may their arms be too short to scratch!

ok, no i didn't write this, i got it in an email and thought it was hilarious.

Life's funner without clothes...so take yours off.

Take my advice. I don't use it anyway.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

"Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge"

"My name? I am known by many names. Son of the Dark Prince, Child of Darkness. Some call me the Altar Girl of Doom. Others will know me as the second coming of damnation....My mom calls me Pepito."

Tears from the butts
are diarrhea...

Come to the darkside.
We have cookies!

Sorry I cannot make it because there is a power failure. I am stuck on the escalator.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Please tell your pants its not polite to point!

Raising a kid is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.