If the ocean were vodka and I were a duck
Id swim to the bottom and never come up
But since it aint vodka and I aint a duck
Just pass me the bottle and shut the f**k up

Please, god if you cant make me thin make my friends fat!

Me: holy fuuckiin shiit!
teacher: language!
me: i believe it was English.

Don't Go To Bed Angry,
Stay Up & Plot Your Revenge.

Tee-Hee.

My friends are the type of friends that get run over by parked cars.

Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist.

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
god made me pretty,
what the hell happened to you!?

-Angel( my Friend)(I just had to put it up!)

Wouldnt it be nice if the world was flat? That way, we could just push off the people we dont like.

Kakorrhaphiophobia-Fear of Failure or Defeat. How many of them do you reckon would fail to spell that word; Kakorrhaphiophobia?

The worse time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades