Wise Old Sayings Revised #4:

A penny saved is still just a penny,
but a fool and his money are some party.

Wise Old Sayings Revised #5:

All's well that..........ends.

Why were men created before women? (Because you always need to do a rough draft before you get it right.)

People come here to sit and wonder,
i come here to fart thunder

HAHAHA i found this on the girls toilet door at my school.

Constipated people dont give a crap!

A skater boy broke my heart... so I broke his board.

"guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early kill people"

Sex is like air...
it only becomes important when your not getting any

Im not as think as you drunk i am

Me: I know how to tell if you have monsters under your bed without looking!
Friend: How?
Me: You tell a story of a little kid getting mauled and eaten.
Friend: How does that work?
Me: Sometimes they laugh...