I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse..

Mommy..are you a virgin?

hahahahahaa.

Im not racist...i have a color tv

"A crowded elevator smells different to a midget."

If your going to be two faced...sweety atleast make one of them pretty!

When I see you, I am happy, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside.
-Me to the fridge.

In 2009 the government will start killing all mentally challenged people.

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run, my little retard friend, run.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I run with scissors............it makes me fell dangerous

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say "How to Build a Boat".